Really though let me sum up every modern Touhou game
Embodiment of Scarlet Devil
Reimu - What’s this weird mist everywhere?
Marisa - wtf my clothes won’t dry
Perfect Cherry Blossom
Reimu - Why isn’t it spring yet?
Sakuya - My master’s mad it isn’t spring yet
Marisa - wtf it’s cold
Immaterial and Missing Power
Reimu/Everyone - Okay time to beat literally everyone up
Marisa - Okay time to beat literally everyone up and also party
Reimu/Yukari - Something’s up with the moon, it’s fake.
Youmu/Yuyuko - Ghosts are acting up, something must be up with the moon.
Sakuya/Remilia - You’re a vampire and the moon looks fucked up, right?
Marisa/Alice - whoa who are you people what is this oh man that moon’s funky or something let’s piss everyone off and check it out
Phantasmagoria of Flower View
Reimu - Something’s up with these flowers, I should probably check it out so people don’t think I’m slacking off.
Marisa - i’m checking out this flower situation purely because i want to be the first to do so
Mountain of Faith
Reimu - Okay apparently I have competition on the religion front now, I should probably stop that.
Marisa - a god’s causing trouble at the top of this mountain and MAN wouldn’t it be sweet if i fought a god????
Scarlet Weather Rhapsody
Reimu - MY HOME LITERALLY GOT STRUCK BY A SINGLE EARTHQUAKE AND NOTHING ELSE WAS HARMED
Marisa - YEAH WELL I CAN’T DRY MY LAUNDRY AGAIN
Reimu - I like these hot springs but also too many ghosts are coming out
Marisa - you tricked me into going underground and shutting off the hot springs you are so fuckingd ead buddy it’s fucking HOT down here and im wearing a heavy coat and oh hey a mansion i want to steal things
Undefined Fantastic Object
Reimu - What the fuck was that?
Sanae - …This killing thing feels pretty good
Marisa - What the fuck was that IT PROBABLY HAS TREASURE ON IT
Marisa - Ahahahahhahahah suck it losers
Reimu - Ugh, ghosts are acting up again
Youmu - Yeah ghosts are kind of my thing so I should check this out
Sanae - I don’t know why I’m here
Marisa - I don’t know why I’m here and also I don’t know how I keep getting roped into resurrecting religious figures
Everyone - I need to get followers for my religion!
Marisa - IF I BEAT PEOPLE UP I CAN GET THEM TO FOLLOW ME AND I’LL BE POPULAR
Double Dealing Character
Reimu - My magic bullshit staff is acting up
Sakuya - knives knives knives knivces kib ves
Marisa - My giant fuckoff laser is acting up and i should probably look into that but also it’s sorta cool